You just laid the toddler down for a nap and sent the other kids outside to play in the sunshiny afternoon. You brew a cup of steaming tea and sit down on the chair by the window, a soft blanket draped over your lap. Then you light a tranquilly-scented candle and turn on peaceful prayer music. You close your eyes and take a deep breath. Suddenly the toddler cries from the upstairs nursery. Noooo! I thought she was asleep. Next, a wail drifts in through the window, followed by a child running inside with a scraped elbow. Where did all our band-aids go? Then the grocery delivery shows up. Shoot, I need to get the frozen food inside before it thaws. Pretty soon the moment is gone and your day trucks along as before, without another moment to pause and recharge. Can’t I ever do anything I want to??? Don’t give up. I’m going to show you how to find time to pray.
If you’re a mom, it doesn’t matter whether you have 1 kid or 12, you know: time to yourself rarely exists. The needs are constant. Little people would literally die without your constant intervention. Moms are busy most of the day (and sometimes the night, too), and when we are not busy, we are often exhausted. Even if a mom desires to pray, even if she knows it’s important, how is she supposed to find time to pray?
“Every one of us needs half an hour of prayer a day, except when we are busy – then we need an hour.”
-St. Francis de Sales
Ask
If God wants to give you the gift of time with Him, don’t you think He can? Ask Him for it. While you’re at it, ask your husband, too. You might need his help and support. When I first started my commitment to daily prayer, I asked my husband to support me and help brainstorm how and when I could make this happen. During that season I was waking up with a nursing baby at night, and didn’t think I could rise before the kids in the morning. In the afternoons I was often tired, or we had activities. So here is what we came up with: I would leave the house directly after dinner while my husband had some Daddy time with the kids (he got home from work right before dinner most days). I would go for a “prayer walk” on a path by our neighborhood park. I’d be gone a half hour and come back much happier.
Ask God and your husband, if applicable, to help you find time to pray. Our God is a God of possibilities. And your husband is likely good at problem-solving, and wants you to be happy. If you share your desires with them, you may be surprised and blessed by their perspective and provision.
Get Creative
It may also be helpful to ask your mom friends, the ones who have a real relationship with Jesus, how they find time to pray. Ask them when and where they pray, and how they prioritize it.
One of my friends, Morgan, wakes an hour or two before her kids and thrives on quiet prayer time in the dark, silent house. It’s part of her morning routine along with coffee and a workout.
My friend Cally’s husband gets up early and brings a cup of coffee and the Magnificat to her in bed. She slowly wakes up and prays while nursing the babies (twins).
Author Sally Clarkson, in her book The Lifegiving Home, had a different approach. She prayed every morning in her comfy chair, but after the kids were up, and with them around her. They often curled up next to her and begged sips of her coffee, or they took their own Bible and found their own cozy corner, following her example.
My friend Cecilia had a similar experience in her childhood, and says she learned how to pray from watching her mom pray every morning. Although her mom had eight children, “she was really good at tuning us out” and she prayed with her Bible and journal every morning, sometimes continuing to jot down inspirations or graces in her journal as she went through her day. As a child, Cecilia learned to pray from her mom’s example. How beautiful!
Another mom I know, Amanda, actively includes her children in the prayer process. She gathers them around for “journaling with Jesus”. They light a candle and read the daily gospel, and each child is encouraged to listen quietly and then write or draw (depending on age and personality) what stood out to them in the reading, or what they think Jesus is saying to their hearts.
Make Time
Now it’s time for us to face a hard truth that’s better when you accept it. Instead of trying to find time to pray, you may need to make time to pray. Become a person with a possibilities mindset. This is the type of mindset that stops finding reasons why you can’t do something and starts figuring out ways that you can. As the old saying goes, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Be proactive instead of reactive: You have free will and time right now. Choose how you will live. Don’t be blown about by the wind and exist under the assumption that life is “happening” to you. Yes, there are many situations which occur beyond our control. But you have many choices to make and you will be accountable for those choices. Choose to make time for what is important. Choose to find time to pray.
“I call upon the heavens and the earth to witness today that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Choose life, so that you and your descendants might live.”
-Deuteronomy 30:19
Conclusion
Moms are busy. Most likely, time will not magically open up if you keep saying and thinking the reasons why it’s hard to find time to pray. Decide now to make prayer a part of your daily routine. Start with 5 minutes, and aim to end up spending 15-30 minutes a day consistently praying with the Word of God. Moms all over the world are allowing God to transform their lives and their families by implementing this one keystone habit: find time to pray every day. Use the Bible and some form of Lectio Divina so you can prayerfully discern what God is speaking personally and particularly to you. Use a journal so you can jot down your thoughts, feelings, desires, and the insights God gives you. Over time, you will begin to notice Him working in your soul and your life will change. Lectio Divina will change you. Join the movement and start learning how to use Lectio Divina to deepen your prayer life.